Paying Attention

Being a spiritual teacher has continually frightened me. Not because I don't want to do it but that I don't feel adequate for the job. And yet, the role unwittingly is engaged by me as I seek out truths for our lives, who we are, what we're here to do, and other such questions.

The biggest problem is that while it may be easy to tell someone what to do, we can often times recognize that doing it ourselves is not always so easy. This can be a good thing though for the teacher to experience. It permits the student the luxury of receiving compassion from a teacher who understands the difficulties that this quest will involve.

As I wondered today about some simple events leading to these thoughts, I found myself querying the lack of progress in my life in the past. What came up was, "Have I been paying attention?" I realized immediately that a significant part of the problem was that I had not been paying enough attention. For that matter, I think most of us don't pay enough attention.

Paying attention to what? Good question to ask. I don't think that we pay enough attention to ourselves. We're so busy trying to do something, prepare for something, get ready for something, compete for something, to get ahead, to fit in, be a part of the crowd, wondering what other people think, that we forget to pay attention to the most important person in our life: Our own Self. How do you do that?

Oh... good question! Really good question! How do you pay attention to your own self? Well, I have noticed that when I stopped trying so hard and slowed down long enough to pay attention, I began to notice something extraordinary going on in my mind. Yes, many conversations happening within the creative mind: Interesting, conflicting, fearful, worrying, funny, fantastical conversations with two to three sides. Ever notice that? I'm sure you have.

Here's the real kicker. When you can notice all these internal conversations that you're having with yourself, try to notice the quiet one. There is another part of self that sits and watches all this crap going on and around "itself" inside your mind. Who do you think that quiet one is? Really? Who?

That's the spiritual you. The one that wishes you'd stop bickering with your self, your life, and stop listening to all the crap the outside world fed you. That is the one that wants you to trust you - that quiet you - the one that knows who you are and what you are here for. Have you learned to trust that quiet one? We always seem to pay much more attention to the noisy shouters in our minds. I challenge you to pay closer attention to the real you.

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Overcoming procrastination the effective way

Who and what you are at this moment in time is nothing but the result of your consistent actions. The same is true for what you will become as a person. Being caught up in the destructive habit of procrastinating will only serve to immobilize you and deprive you of a future that might end up being only a dream. Overcoming procrastination has no magic "cure", but requires of you to truly develop yourself and grow in your capacity to take action. Procrastination truly is a strange behaviour, but is definitely there by design as it provides you with the necessary resistance to push against in order to build your inner strength and "emotional muscle."

Procrastination is a call to action. Avoiding the very tasks that will give you the results you are after is not very intelligent. You have to step up and strengthen your resolve. The easiest way to snap yourself into action is by making a decision. Decision is the father of action and all action flows from decisions. The challenge is that we have been using the word decision so loosely that it lost much of it's true meaning. When you make a real decision, a true commitment, you cut off all the possibilities other than that which you are absolutely committed to. Like any other skill you need to get better at making decisions by making more of them and as you develop this ability you will get better at overcoming procrastination until you eventually develop the habit of being decisive.

A truly committed decision will turn your "shoulds" into "musts." In fact, this critical distinction separates procrastinators from action minded and decisive achievers. We all get what we have to have and we only get our "shoulds" when it is convenient. The most common reason why people  procrastinate is that they just don't "feel" like doing it. When you don't feel like doing it, it simply means that you associate more pain to taking action than to avoiding it. As human beings we are to a large extent controlled by our emotions and feelings. You will do almost anything to avoid painful emotions and gain pleasurable emotions. Your beliefs about what will lead to pain or pleasure serves as a reference that will guide you in making decisions. Changing your limiting beliefs is a powerful way for overcoming procrastination. The only reason why you can't take action is because of your belief(s) about why you can't.

Beliefs are designed as a short cut for your mind to make decisions quickly. Even if you haven't got exact experiences your mind will make it up based on your beliefs. We all have a built in need for certainty and our beliefs give us that sense of certainty. The most potent beliefs of all are the beliefs you have about yourself and your own abilities and capabilities. If you belief that you are a procrastinator and that you can never follow through and create results, then no matter what technique or strategy you learn or apply, you will always be a procrastinator. Your beliefs about yourself create your identity and one of the strongest need within your character is for your actions to be consistent with your identity. Whatever identity you hold will create your reality.

Your beliefs are mostly formed unconsciously by life experiences and the meaning you take from it. You are the master of meaning and the way you communicate your life experiences to yourself will determine what things mean to you. The way you talk and communicate with yourself is a form of hypnosis and most people give themselves a real hard time when they screw up. They indulge in negative self talk. That installs disempowering beliefs about their abilities and capabilities. Overcoming procrastination requires of you to take control of your internal communication. What you say to yourself about yourself and your life will eventually determine what actions you take.

People who are happy, successful and fulfilled are not lucky or born under the right stars, but are individuals that have learned how to overcome procrastination and take action even when they don't feel like it. When you don't feel like doing it you are simply not in a resourceful emotional state. The quickest way to change this is to change your mental focus; change your concentration and that which you are paying attention to. If you focus on the painful and unpleasant aspects of any task you will eventually start to procrastinate, even if you are incredibly disciplined. Your focus is your experience of life. Learning to control and direct your focus on the pleasurable aspects of taking action will empower you to overcome procrastination. Develop the habit of taking the long view; of focussing on the outcome and not the process and watch yourself move past procrastination.

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Overcome the Number One Fear

“Don't worry about what others think of you... They don't! They're too busy worrying about what you think of them." Rich DeVos

Fear of Failure Itself

It took me a long time to realize that the majority of fear is based on the possibilty of failure. The problem was never the fear itself, but what the fear made me feel. Imagined feelings that compounded the more I dwelled on them.

If you have ever pondered for long on something you fear you know the effect it can have. It doesn’t take long for the irrational feeling of dread to take control. The more time spent dwelling on the negative, the further in despair you become.

How bad can it really be? What would happen if you spent as much time thinking positively about the obstacle. What if what made you fearful was really an opportunity to prove how powerful you are. Your fear is personal growth waiting to happen, you just need an attitude adjustment.

With the proper thinking, fear is only a challenge. In fact it can lead you to personal development that leads to a greater happiness and well being.

Keys to Conquering Fear

• Do not avoid your fear- Take small incremental steps to overcome it

• Every time you have to face fear put it in a positive light. How will facing this fear make you a stronger person

• Think of rational positive thinking strategies instead of negative programming

• Constantly look for ways to improve yourself

• Cultivate an attitude of achievement in everything you do

• Continue to move toward your goals at all times

Don't resist your fear, instead relax with the motivation that you can overcome. When you come to this realization it will be a great day. Not only will you have overcome an unfounded feeling, but you will have accomplished another success.

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Nothing ever stays the same

Nothing ever stays the same. On the one hand we despise change yet on the other we don’t want to stagnate and become boring. Yet our habits keep us locked into a course of action day after day, year after year. The way we think, the way we behave, the way we experience things, the way we react to incidents, all are dominated by our habits. They are so strong that most of do not even know what they are. Whatever our habits are they keep us fixed in a particular perspective or behaviour. They stop us reaching our potential.

Our habits are basically involuntary acts we perform unintentionally and without thinking. We just are them. Yes. We are our habits. Whether, you lack confidence, find it difficult to make decisions, always arrive late for an appointment, can’t say no …, feel lonely, feel stupid, think others always know best…… these are all habits. That’s the bad news.  

The good news is that you can change. Change is based on choice. Once you realise what your habits are, you have more chance of changing them. It may not be easy. It may be painful, sometimes. But it is also fun and rewarding because you are changing your life. You are opening yourself to see the possibilities of your potential. What you are capable of.

History shows us that there are four key ingredients to successfully change habits:

Reflection,  Realisation,  Resolve and Sustained Effort.

In other words all you have to do is imagine you are the gardener of your life:

Reflect on the state of your garden.
Realise what are weeds and what are flowers.
Remove the weeds
Replace the weeds with flowers and make a sustained effort to keep the garden clear of weeds you don’t want.

So. What is the largest weed in your garden? Which habit causes you most pain?

What is keeping this weed in place? What stops you from pulling it out?
Look at all the obstacles and think of the best method for eradicating the weed. Remember some weeds do not come out at first pull. They leave a little root behind. Some are better killed off with weed killer rather than a tortuous pull. Look for the best method for your weed.

Now, what flower would you like to plant in its place? What behaviour would you like to put in instead of the habit? You will need something because all of us that have changed habits are aware of the need for a transitory behaviour. A good example is giving up smoking. The transitory behaviour is either: something to do with your hands, instead of holding a cigarette; gum to chew when you would light a cigarette or a sweet to pop into your mouthy when you feel like a cigarette.

So what flower would you like to put in place of your weed?

The next phase is the key to success.

For all gardeners the next phase is the most easy and yet the most difficult. Make a sustained effort to keep the weed out of your garden. This is the key. It is so easy to say I’ve done it and walk away. Sustained effort can also be called zeal and enthusiasm. Be passionate about clearing your weed. Tell others what you are doing. Avoid incidents that would automatically set the weed off. Keep looking at your new flower. Have zeal and enthusiasm for your new flower. Keep focussed on the flower. Make a sustained effort to keep the new flower watered and the area around it free from weeds. Nourish it. Fertilise it. Talk to it. Gradually the new flower will blossom and the old weed disappear.

Remember:  Nothing ever stays the same.

Good Luck

Graham and Julie
www.desktop-meditation.com

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No News Is Good News

Did you watch the news on television today? Did you hear it on the radio? Did you happen to listen to your favorite talk radio show today? Watch a movie? A television show? Do you feel good because of it?

What effect do these things have on us in our daily lives? Do they invoke a positive mental attitude? Probably not. The problem with the media in most formats today is that it is comprised of every negative image and idea that exists and is yet to exist.

Even a lot of the comedy shows have a negative message. Why is this?

How do we balance these negative messages in our lives? How do we counter the crap that is being fed to us? Do we immerse ourselves in motivational books and tapes? If not , maybe we should.

The healthy function of our minds is dependent upon input. If the only input that we have is negative, our output can tend to be negative as well. Garbage in, garbage out. My father used to warn me that the type of people that I surrounded my self with is the type of person I would become. He was right to a great degree. It is also true that the type of materials to which we expose our minds is the type of thinking that we will practice in our daily lives. Perhaps you question that logic, but let me go on.

When the mainstream media has been confronted in the past about the content of their shows, they claim that just because you watch a violent film, you won't become violent. This may be true, but as you continuously immerse yourself in violent content, you begin to become numb to the violence itself.

Such as that is, the more negative the constant input in your life, the harder it becomes to be positive or think positive thoughts. As an artist and a creative individual, I often need a bit of inspiration in my daily life. To get this inspiration, I look at other artists work. After a while I am influenced by what I have seen to create my own work.

The same can be said for a positive attitude. If we reach a point in our day when we feel like we can't go on with our work, sometimes all we need is a bit of inspiration to get back on track. Often this inspiration gives us that "a-ha" moment that we need to get back on the rails.

Now I am not saying that you should have a constant diet of positive attitude books and CD's. There are other things that can reinforce us in our daily tasks. Aside from personal development materials, there is also the development of our business or our skills. This type of information can be found in
books, magazines, on cd, dvd, cassette tapes or the internet.

Often when we learn more about our work and how to do it better, we are more successful at performing necessary tasks. This success in itself is empowering and can lead to a more positive attitude.

As we go through our day we should try to be aware of the influence that our surroundings are having on us. We should be careful to monitor the types of input that we are getting and balance it with as much positive material as possible. In doing this not only can we feel better about ourselves and our world, but we will also be more productive and feel happier at the same time.

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CAN VS CAN'T

It is my personal opinion that there are two words that are the driving force behind your personally achieving your ultimate outcome and your WHY in Life. These two words are the most powerful words that you can and will ever speak to yourself about any situation - "CAN" and "CAN'T" As I've said many times, "CAN" is a word of power; whereas, "CAN'T" is a word of retreat.

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Being Slow? It’s a Go!

Brandon had always been thought of as “slow.” He talked slowly; he walked slowly; he read slowly and he ate slowly. He was a nine-year-old boy in fourth grade. Many of Brandon’s classmates made fun of him because he could not process information quickly.

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8 Greatest Fears to Achieving Transformation Success

Have you ever had difficulty keeping a simple commitment to yourself? Sure. Nearly everyone I know has, sometime or another, found him or herself "trapped"—wanting to do something yet not acting on their intentions.

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Achieve Your Goals For Success Step By Step

You have a dream!  Now, how do you make it happen?

First, imagine that it is real.  See every detail so clearly that you can reach out and touch it.  You can feel the emotions of being there.  For example, if you want a certain car, then what kind is it?  What color is it?  Imagine you are sitting in it like you will when it is brand new.  How does it feel?  How does it smell?  Go for a drive in your car.  If it's a convertible, drive with the top down! Experience the wind blowing in your face and through your hair. Hear the sounds around you. If you can take a real test drive in one, do that!  Get a picture and post it where you will see it each day. Do this visualization several times a day until it becomes part of you.  This action is important because your subconscious will help enable you to reach your goals to achieve your dream.

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A Science Breakthrough That Could Change Your Life Forever

Ever think the world is out to make you fail? Do you think that “If you didn't have bad luck you wouldn't have any luck at all ? “
Wrong!
You make your own luck and your own failures and successes.
Are you one of the positive ones who think “Everything happens for a reason!” ?
Good for you! You are correct! Well, sort of...

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Balance: Entreprenurial or Workaholic?

A workaholic is someone who has no identity beyond their work. Life is about so much more than what you do. It is about the relationships you develop and nurture. It is about social impact in your community. It is about the growth and learning you experience. It is about living passionately.

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Are You Living The Successful Life You Want Or Something Else?

Have you wondered why you continue with life as usual, even though you are not experiencing enough happiness, and you know you want things to be different?

Your full happiness and satisfaction with life is largely based on the natural expression of yourself.

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