Conflict Resolution Tactics Inspired by Cats & Dolphins

Enlightening PERSPECTIVES on conflict resolution have been inspired in me by  sacred animals, Jessie Justin Joy , the feline teacher and dolphins. Does peace ever occur in the outer or is the idea of "peace" the ego's way of saying, my way? Perhaps peace has been here now eternally and is simply waiting for us to dissolve back into her-his arms in all circumstances."

     I lived in an apartment by the ocean for many years and often came home to a party of cats. Jessie the feline was very social and while I was away, cats would come in the cat door and hold gatherings with each other. I enjoyed the way the cats breathed in rhythm with the near by ocean. All immersed in unique and personal life tasks, each dreaming up a unique perspective, individually encountering different levels of evolution, the cats could sit comfortably together in harmony.

     Years later I was holding Unconditional Awakening Seminars as a therapist. I put a vase of flowers in the middle of the circle. If we each took a photograph of the flowers from where we sat, using the best of equipment, we would each have a different picture...all correct pictures...all lovely pictures. Can humans sit in circle and celebrate each others' individual perspectives without needing any of them to be right or wrong?

Humans may have trouble with simply witnessing each other in the awareness that there is room for each of us and that each of us is here now to be unique. The most harmonic sound I ever heard was many birds all chirping at once. Many species of birds sang in dissonance but in the dissonance was a harmony. In higher frequency awareness so it is with humans. Each in our own learning process, engaged in our soul purpose we emit a note. All the notes together are one beautiful chorus in the 13th realm.

Each animal, human and nature being is a Divine spark of One LOVE! When I asked everyone at the Unconditional Awakening Seminar to express gratitude the room jumped up to a very high frequency and everyone realized they loved each other by design! People practiced hearing and being aware of each other as gifts instead of advising, changing and trying to alter each other. That altering technique often used in conversation, is a technique of the mind, to get everyone to replicate the mind in one being. A more sure & pleasurable route to security and happiness is to choose to turn whatever you find inside your heart back into peace within yourself. Offer up a need for anyone to be any way and suddenly, all there is to experience is LOVE. All beings are gifts. The beings that appear to cause you distress are great blessings for they give you the opportunity to find deeper peace within, based only on PEACE itself. Turn your thoughts, your physical experience and your entire energy filed back into peace. Soon you find your body is a friend to your spirit, a devoted servant available for great peace and bliss. Next you find that your spirit is simply a devotee to the ONE SOUL LOVE: ALL THAT IS!

When in conflict with a loved one, a country, a religious order, your ,mind, a neighbor, your body or a professional colleague take these steps.

1) Focus on gratitude in your heart
2) Choose to BE JOY!
3) In place of a complaint, identify your request.
4) Identify what you essentially desire in one word (example: resolution, joy, peace, love, abundance, health). Most likely, you and your opponent desire the same thing but assume that the thing has to come in different ways.
5) Allow your essential desire to be more important that the form in which you first thought it  would need to appear. The universe has a plethora of ways to create what it is you seek.
6) Assume your conflict mate has appeared to give you an opportunity to be peace instead of impose your mind's idea of peace and this blessing of grace can potentially liberate you.

    Notice how the dolphins may play and  cats' may choose breathe together in all circumstances. As a dove, Jonah, once told me, "It's easy." To create peace, be peace.

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Conceptions in Healing the Hidden Self

Developing our concepts will assist us with conjuring up new ideas and perceptions that lead us to healing the hidden self. Through theorizing, shuffling, and developing new ideas we can change our view on life by changing our main beliefs and perceptions.

The common human must consistently maneuver through the healing process by re-training selves to think positive and seek success. Believing that you have the power within to success will assist you with approaches you will need to take to live a better life. You will react differently in each situation, which better decision-making will allow you to reap rewards.

Healing the hidden self and your self-perceptions will take you a long way to the success, since you will shuffle through your failures to avoid making redundant mistakes. Our inner self-perceptions are major influences in our life. We must endeavor to change misconceptions that lead us astray to ensure that we are developing positive self-perceptions. We must continue to attain more successes in our life. Healing of the hidden self and the way we believe and perceive will open the doors; typically, we may close in our own face. By changing the way one believes and perceives, it can help one to develop and grow into a well-rounded, balanced person.

Conceptions are our origin. From the start, we all develop ideas, notions, thoughts, etc from influences, impressions, observation, educational sources, parents, and so on. We develop hypothesizes and ideas from our understanding of the way we comprehend and perceive.

By understanding, our ways of learning we can shuffle through the mud puddles successfully, reform, and transform the mind. Still, behaviors and habits must be considered.

Behaviors and habits form from our conceptions, rather the influences that leave impressions on the way we perceive. The bible tells us that “Bad influences,” reflect on our personality and conceptions and ultimately can encourage bad behaviors and habits. Useful habits then must be developed through positive influences.

With this fact in sight, now you can work through healing the self by examining your influences. Think of the people in your life. If these people are not bringing something to your table, thus they are only hindering you from healing the hidden self. You must consider removing bad influences; otherwise, you may stay stuck in the same pattern.

Who are influences?
Influences are people, places, things, et cetera. Consider all the nouns and you will find the answer. Influences include effects, stimulus, inspirations, persuasion, manipulations, control, authority, pressure, weight, power, etc and all influences shape our personality. That is if we all them to.

When you examine influences in your life, also consider your environment. Does your environment hinder you in some way from achieving your goal to heal the hidden self? If so, then you must consider moving to a better environment.

Does your job hinder you from achieving your goal to heal the hidden self? Despite that, employees and employers may have a positive attitude that reflects on you, your job may have a powerful influence that affects your life. For example, if an artist is working in a Pop Shop, likely this person despite positive attitudes surround he will feel a sense of emptiness. Thus, to relieve the emptiness this person must explore his abilities, skills, potentials, etc and move to change his career. Only until the artist finds his purpose in life will he find a sense of healing of the hidden self.

We must also consider our main beliefs to adapt to new conceptions and ideas that assist us with healing the hidden self.

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Can You Say Yes To Happiness? 11 Practical Steps You Can Take To Make It Really Happen

Think about it ... every single thing we do is intended to make us happier. 

And yet sometimes we get diverted and do things that actually move us away from this goal.

We all have the potential for genuine happiness. There is no gene or DNA marker that determines who will be happy and who will not. We make choices throughout our lives, and the result of all these choices combined, determines our level of happiness. Make the right choices and happiness can be yours.

Here are just a sampling of some of the tactics we can employ in an 11-point roadmap to help guide us toward genuine happiness: 

1. Look For The Positive In Everything:  There is an old saying that nothing is inherently good or bad—what makes it one or the other, is merely your reaction to it. Find the positive and you will be happier. Those who soar against all odds, do so because they look at the positive that could come out of their situation, how ever bad it may seem to others.

2. Accentuate The Positive:  We all grow up with a “positivity imbalance”—the result of society’s norms and rules being based on restriction and punishment more than approval and reward.  From a young age we are taught what we must not do instead of what we may do. Even in day-to-day life, there is more negative influence that positive. Luckily you can work to improve the balance. Celebrate the positive and work to get more of it. When you achieve something, congratulate yourself! Look for things you find uplifting, that make you happy. Get more of that! At the same time, reduce your exposure to negative input, whether it is the daily news, or people you don’t feel good around. You know your buttons…make sure the positive ones are pushed more than the negative.

3. Practice Good Selfishness:  When we were young we were taught that putting our interests before those of others is wrong. This is particularly true for women, many of whom sacrifice their dreams and ambitions to help others achieve theirs. It is also common in the corporate world where the good of the company is considered more important than the good of the individual. It is good to help others, yet we should have boundaries to protect ourselves from being manipulated or abused by others. You are important, and if you don’t look after yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually, you cannot expect anyone else to do so.

4. Listen To Your Feelings:  All feelings are good. Every feeling occurs for a reason: it is delivering a message. Sometimes that message is pleasant, other times not. Our tendency is to distract ourselves from unpleasant feelings, often through smoking, drinking or drugs of one kind or another. When you feel bad, avoid distracting yourself, and identify the reason—there is some need not being met.

5. Give Of Yourself:  The more you give, the more you receive. There is probably no scientific study proving this to be so, but unconditional giving is hugely rewarding. It seems that the more of yourself you give, the greater the thrill and uplifting effect on your psyche. Help the needy. Give time if you can. Give anonymously, even if you lose the tax deduction!

6. Make It Happen:  You have the ability to make things happen using your mind. Top sports stars, and business people use it, and so can you. There are many ways of doing this; one of the common methods is to use visualization—getting a picture in your mind of whatever it is that you want to happen. It does not actually have to be a visual picture; it could be a feeling, a smell, a sound, or any combination of the senses. Imagine finding the perfect parking near the entrance as you arrive at the supermarket or mall … the sky is the limit, but persevere! We are not used to utilizing this tool, so it takes practice.

7. Accept The Things You Cannot Change:  We resist things we don’t like, and often expend a tremendous amount of energy on this resistance. Whilst this can be good, and has resulted in tremendous advances through history, we should work to understand those things we cannot change, and then move on. Rather use the saved energy on something more worthwhile and productive. This is not to say that you should complacently accept anything. If you truly desire change, you should work towards that change; but spending time worrying about something without actively working to change it is unproductive and damaging to your wellbeing.

8. Take Responsibility For Your Choices:  Everything that you do, or don’t do, is because of choices you make (or don’t make). It is easier and convenient to blame outside causes for things that go wrong in life, but your life is the sum of all the choices you make along the way—sometimes that choice it to let somebody else make a choice on your behalf. If you tend to blame other people or things, it may be scary to take responsibility for what happens in your life, but it is really quite liberating because instead of seeing yourself as an effect of outside forces, you realize you are the cause of everything good you achieve. Don’t abdicate responsibility for your life.

9. Schedule Regular “Self Time”:  Spend some time analyzing where you are in life, your strengths and weaknesses. How can you turn the latter into the former? Think about your views on everything from your job to global warming and the existence of aliens—then work out why you feel the way you do. Is your reasoning sound? The better you understand yourself, the better you understand the world.

10. Make Time To Meditate:  We spend almost all our time thinking of the past or planning for the future. We seldom spend time in the present. It has reached a point where, for most of us, it seems impossible to keep our focus on what is happening right now. Your meditation could be formal meditation or prayer, but it could be as simple as merely focusing on each breath as it goes in and out for five or ten minutes, dismissing past and future thoughts as they arise—and they will!

11. Remove Your Limitations:  When we fail, usually the reason is simply because we don’t believe we are able or worthy of whatever it is that we fail to achieve. Most often, this belief is actually false; the result of negative programming received since childhood. The truth is that most of us are able to do most of what we really want to do … you just have to believe. The best way to start is with small things, working your way up as you notice the limits dissolving.

The more successful you are at assimilating the concepts and processes described in these eleven points into your life, the more genuinely happy you will be, and the happiness will last!

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For Happiness Universe and Life were Created Against Impossible Odds

Let us start our search for happiness from the very beginning.  That is from the beginning of the universe.

The most plausible and widely accepted theory of the creation of the universe is the “Big Bang” theory of creation.  According to it, the universe is created from an explosion in the super condensed material and consequent expansion of material.  However, even if all the conditions for the creation of the universe were right at the beginning, many factors had to be right for the consequent formation of the universe.  For example:

•    Our universe is expanding like a polka dotted balloon which is being blown out.  Each dot (representing a star or a galaxy) on it is distancing itself from each other.  Now, if the rate of expansion of the newly created universe had differed even very minutely from what it were actually, there would have been no universe.  A little slower and the cosmos would have collapsed back, a little faster and the cosmic material would have long ago completely dispersed.

•    If the density of the universe were a little more, the universe would not be expanding but, due to the force of attraction of atomic particles, contracting, ultimately collapsing.  If the initial density were a little bit less, then the universe would be expanding far rapidly than now and no stars and no galaxies would ever have formed.

•    Both the mass and the volume of a proton are incomparably larger than those of an electron; but strangely enough, these two particles have equal (though opposite) electrical charges.  Because of this fact atoms are electrically neutral.  If the atom was not neutral electrically, each atom would repel the other and the entire universe would explode.

•    The four fundamental forces in the nature, in decreasing order of intensity, are—Strong nuclear force, Weak nuclear force, Electromagnetic force, and Gravitational force.  The difference between the strongest and the weakest is about 25 followed by 38 zeroes. Still within that great range the individual and the comparative magnitudes of the forces are delicately balanced otherwise the universe would not have existed.

If the creation of the sustained universe was a miracle, the evolution of life on it was also the same:

•    Had our sun been 30% larger it would have been burnt out in four billion years, too short a time for intelligent life to evolve.  Had it been smaller—95% of stars are smaller than the sun—other difficulties would have followed.  Similarly, had the sun not been a source of steady energy for billions of years, had the orbit of earth around sun been a bit narrower or wider, had planet Jupiter been too close or too far to save earth from the rain of steroids, had moon not been so improbably large to stabilize the tilt of the Earth’s axis to around 23 degrees, had the solar system’s position in the galaxy been too near the edge or too close to the middle, advanced form of life would have been impossible. 

•    Carbon based molecules can only survive between the limits of 120° and -20° C and earth is the only [planet whose average temperatures fall within those limits.  When one considers the universe as a whole, coming across a range of temperatures as narrow as this is quite a difficult task because temperatures in the universe vary from the millions of degrees of the hottest stars to absolute zero (-273° C).

•    Nearly all of the radiation emitted by the sun falls into a single band that is 10-25 of the whole spectrum.  Radiations which are necessary and conducive for life fall in this narrow band. This is also the only radiation under which photosynthesis works and our eye is able to see.

•    Water also has extraordinary properties conducive for life—below 4° C it expands (so that even if ponds etc. are frozen at surface underneath water is not), highest latent heat, high thermal capacity, high thermal conductivity while that of ice and snow is low, high surface tension, and viscosity, etc.

The first step to happiness is to realize this happy but impossible odd of creation and life.  We are extremely lucky to have a universe even more so to have a universe full of life.  Since life is so improbable earth may be the only planet on which there is life.  In living beings to be born as human being is the happiest thing which could ever happen to anybody!


BE HAPPY!

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There is Great Happiness in Human-Made Things

God created the world.  Humans in their own insignificant way are also creating things.  The urge to create is inborn in human beings.  God created the world for the happiness of humankind.  Humans are creating things for their happiness, enjoyment, comfort, and survival.  The common thread in all human made things is happiness.

There is a vast field of music and art and literature.  One can devote one's entire life to any of them and be supremely happy.  Humans have made some things expressly for happiness—games and sports, food and drinks, TV and motorcars, ships, and planes.  And, of course, there is money and all the things and services one could buy with it.

A single genre of literature, a single instrument of music, a single school of dancing, is enough to fill us with happiness.  We know of persons who have made a single aspect of the world their passion and devoted their entire life to it and derived success and happiness out of it.  It may be bird watching, white water rafting, tennis, football, poetry, or films.  In fact life is too short to enjoy all the happiness it offers to us through all its aspects.  The problem is not that there is not enough of happiness in the world.  But it is the opposite.  There is too much of it.

Fine arts, whether it is poetry or prose, fiction or non-fiction, painting, music, or dance, has the power to engross us and make us infinitely happy.  In fact, one may live in the world of fine arts and be ever happy.   I am perfectly happy sitting under a quiet bower beside a calm river under the serene sky with a book in hand, or lying in the bed under a cozy quilt on a rainy day listening to great classics.

Take for example, literature. It gives mental pleasure that is superior to the worldly pleasure.  It does not require external favourable conditions, except a book.  There are many books in the world that I consider everybody must read.  It is not necessary that one reads only the best or the most serious books only.  One can take occasional bad book with good books.  As a starter, I would recommend that you go to your neighborhood library, and get a good book according to your taste.  It need not necessarily be serious literature. Get a detective novel or romance book or even comics.  In the evening cozily settle down in the bed or sofa and read.  May be next week read another book.  Once the habit is formed try to read serious literature.  Make reading a life long habit. 

I find sports a great source of happiness.  You derive great happiness and peace of mind playing any game. You also get exercise which is good for your body.  But there is another benefit. While you are playing your mind is far away from worldly problems. You don’t think of them while you play.  I believe that playing is a sort of meditation.

“The secret of happiness is this: let your interest be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile”—Bertrand Russell.

BE HAPPY!

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One of the Greatest Sources of Happiness—Nature

Nature is one of the greatest sources of happiness.  In fact, humans had lived in the lap of nature for millions of years and their stay in modern cities is comparably very very short.  Still now majority of them lives in close proximity to nature.  In fact, human race is dependent upon nature for its very survival (plants recycle carbon dioxide into oxygen; our food is a product of nature; and we can survive under a very limited range of variables of nature like temperature, etc.)

Nature is all free!  It is there for everybody to stand and stare and derive happiness and solace from.  It does not distinguish between rich and poor, strong and weak, man and woman.  Silvery sun is free, golden moon is free, cool breeze, warm seashore, imposing mountains, smooth flowing rivers, dark and inviting forests, all are free.

It is free, not because it is cheap, but it is rather priceless. 

How much would it cost to make only an artificial island with rivers, forests, mountains, and surrounding ocean? 

Billion dollars, zillion dollars? 

Can one make it?  And if one can and afford, will he give it to humanity free to enjoy?  Will he not charge some entrance fees?  How much?

When we see the moon, we see it in its entirety, no matter how many millions of people are seeing it at the same time.  Has God made a separate moon for each of us, or is it only one moon which each of us somehow sees as his own individual moon?  And similarly, the sky, the sun, the ocean, rain and sunshine, all are there for us to possess fully.  Each can stare at the sky and claim all of it for his or her happiness.  It is all his or her.
   
Nature understands your moods.  If you are sad, it is also sad with you.  But it does not make you sadder.  It does not lead you to further despair.  It applies gentle balm to your wounds.  It sits besides you like a mother, spouse, brother or sister, or a friend and embraces you, talks to you, listens to you patiently, empathizes with you.  Slowly it lifts your spirits, makes you to see your little woes, worries, and wounds in the right perspective of infinite time and space.  You smile; you laugh; and you are happy again!

I am sure, you are keeping your money in the bank and this bank balance gives pleasure and happiness.  Even when this money is lying idle or tied down in investments.  Sometimes it is money just on paper, as, for example, the value of shares and bonds. When you need something, you withdraw the money and exchange it for some pleasure and happiness.  Well, all this is good.

Yet do you realize that infinite beauty and happiness is lying around you in the form of nature?

Do you appreciate this fact and draw happiness out of it?

BE HAPPY!

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Home is the Happiest Place to Live in

“The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.”—Thomas Jefferson.

The world may be a dreary, dreadful, and dangerous place to venture into.  There may be cut-throat competition in which survival of the mean, cunning, and bully only is possible.  It may not be a place for gentle, honest, and kind person like you.  It is full of murderers, criminals, rapists, and swindlers.  They are ready to snatch away the loaf of bread from your hand.  You need a sanctuary from them.  You need a place where there is love and care, understanding and compassion, give and take.  You need somebody who could guide and protect you.  You need somebody who could be equal partner in your joys and sorrows.  You need somebody upon whom you could shower your love and care.  You need a home and a family.

Parents sacrifice a lot and endure great hardships in up-bringing their children.  They are selfless in their love and can even lay their lives for the protection of their children.  A spouse is a life time partner in your days of sunshine and rain.  Brothers and sisters are your friends and supporters.  Your children are your life time fans who love you unconditionally.  The love, care, and support of family is a great happiness.  Blessed is the person who has got a family.  And who amongst us has not got one?  But we take family for granted.  We don’t recognize it as a great source of happiness.  The more happiness you give to your family the more you extract out of it.

You are born into a family and grow up within a family.  A family not only provides comfort, enjoyment, and security, but it also gives emotional and spiritual bliss.  In fact, one may find so much happiness within family that he or she may not need to search it outside it.  The love and care of mother and father, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters, wife or husband sustain us.  Though love is one and the same yet the love of each is so different too.  A family may extend beyond these immediate relations and may include grand parents, grand children, in-laws, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, and other relatives.

Can all the money of the world buy the love and affection of one’s parents?  Can one be happy without them?  How much enjoyment and happiness they add to our life?  Similar is the case with brothers and sisters.  At a later stage of life husband or wife becomes practically the sole arbiter of our happiness.  Man or woman’s happiness nearly entirely depends on his or her spouse.  At a still later stage sons and daughters become a great source of happiness.  Bertrand Russell said, ‘I have found the happiness of parenthood greater than any other that I have experienced.’  Family relations give happiness, but at the same time to be a relation also gives happiness.   It is happiness unlimited to be a son, a brother, a sister, a father, a mother, a husband, and a wife. 

    When you kiss your child, don’t you get a kiss in return?

    When you hug your sister, don’t you get a hug in return?

    When you love your spouse, don’t you get love in return?

    Be Happy! You have your family which loves you!

BE HAPPY!

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Happiness is just a Matter of Mind

Though one could be infinitely happy by just enjoying the nature and family and all the human-made things, there are still millions of people who are unhappy.  In the developed countries there is very fortunate circumstance of having both God-given and man-made things.  Still majority of people there are unhappy.  In the developing countries, where for millions there is a real scarcity of even basic needs, people seem to be happy.  There are some people who are engaged in difficult tasks and in warfare, and even incarcerated in prisons, and are still happy!  We have just discussed the factors of happiness.  Millions of people have them, still they are unhappy.  There are millions of others who don’t have them, yet they are happy!

    You would realize that the mere availability and abundance of God given and human-made things is not enough.  There is something else which should be right to be happy.   Of course, it is our mind that must have right attitude towards and capacity to be happy.
   
    Milton in Paradise Lost says,

    'The mind is its own place, and in itself
    Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.'
   
    One can give various examples of how mind can influence our body::

•    Pavlov’s dog starts salivating at the sound of the bell without any food in sight.
•    If we are tense we often get headache, backache, and spondylitis, etc.
•    Heart attacks are directly linked to worry and tension.
•    Right mental attitude helps in curing many bodily maladies.
•    By self-talk, motivation, and positive attitude we can become happy and successful.
•    Through hypnosis one can have command over another person’s mind and body.
•    Through meditation one can have a healthy body and extra sensory abilities.

Mind has extra-ordinary powers and as far as happiness is concerned it has the ultimate power.  We should, therefore, have a positive attitude towards life.  Instead of concentrating on bad things in life and people, we should concentrate on redeeming features in them.  We should not keep on thinking about past failures and bad experiences but be encouraged by our past success and good experiences.  Similarly, we should not be unduly anxious about future as our anxiety is not going to have a positive effect, but we should plan and work hard for the future.

In whatever circumstances you are, you can never have total lack of God-given and man-made happiness.  You cannot completely take away nature from somebody; you cannot take away all man-made things from somebody.  Even if everything is taken, one’s family and friends are there.  One’s precious body is there.  And, even if you chain somebody securely in a dungeon, one’s mind is free.  One is free to be happy in one’s mind!  Mind is difficult to be mastered by oneself, but it is impossible to be vanquished by anybody, any authority, or whatever conditions or situations.

    Abraham Lincoln has beautifully expressed it: “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

BE HAPPY!

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